The Best Gift Is You. Please Dont Give Me Less

 

I am my beloved‘s, and my beloved is mine: he feedeth among the lilies.(Song of Solomon 6:3 KJV)

It is often said that we are defined by our relationships. The best way to know who you are is to have a look at who you associate with. One’s influence is most felt by those one interacts with on a regular basis.

In a relationship where there is no interaction the bond soon wears off and it becomes a relationship in name only. Therefore there are many who base the value of their relationships on the frequency of interaction between them and the people they are in relationship with. Others base it on the gifts they receive from each other or other tokens of friendship. The more a person is able to lavish these tokens on you the more valuable the relationship is.

This fickle basis of estimating a relationship’s value is often pushed by motivational and self development experts. What you end up hearing is this; ‘if a person does not seem to be adding value to your relationship with them then they are of no use to you. Cut them off’.

But that is not God‘s way. If it was, many of us will have been cut off long ago. The value of a relationship should be decided from the beginning. In which case, distance, lapse of time, challenges etc do not devalue it. God made a decision to love you even before you got your act together. If something or someone is not worth giving yourself to from the beginning then no amount of gifts or interaction can change that. If these can change that, then you are either being bribed or a wrong estimation or assessment was made by you in the first place.

Relationships should be based on conviction. They should not be entered irresponsibly. The question is, will you be satisfied with me as I am if what you see now is what you will get for always? Or are there strings attached to your friendship. I have found in my own experience that the best relationships are those where there is an understanding and an agreement right from the start whether spoken or unspoken that both parties are convicted and convinced of each other’s value and therefore pledge their very selves to each other. There is an unspoken acknowledgement that what I am giving you is myself and there is nothing more valuable than that that I can give to prove your value to me. The time, the interaction and the gifts are things and only cement our relationship but even without them, your value to each other does not diminish. Greater love has no man than this; that a man will lay down his life for his friend. Beyond the gidfts and other tokens of friendship, what we should rather look for is the heart behind the actions. Are you giving and receiving the invaluable gifts of one another’s self(s) or are your friendships wholly superficial.

You should be able to say, ‘I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine’. No doubts about it. Our gift to each other is ourselves and not things. Without the giving of ourselves, the pledging of our loyalty and faithfulness from the very beginning, our relationships become too high maintenance and tasking and draining. But where there is genuine giving of ourselves first and foremost, the rest flows naturally. Relationships do need evaluation but that evaluation is not based on the receipt and givinng of tokens. It is based on whether you still have the heart, the true self of the other.

If you are finding your relationships tasking and burdensome, then ask yourself the question? What is my investment in this relationship? Have I given myself? Am I my beloved’s and is my beloved mine? If this equation is unbalanced and you are trying to balance it off with gifts, attention and the like, then you are in for a disaster as this is not maintainable long term. True friends are friends for life. They have been thoroughly persuaded of each others value from the start. They are not forever walking on egg shells trying to prove themselves to each other. That my friend is slavery not a relationship.

Enough Said!!!!

Why Do Some Say ‘I DO’ and Others Just Won’t?

John 8:24 KJV

What makes someone run into your arms can make another person run as far as they can away from you. There isn’t that much distance between COURAGE and FEAR.

Most often this is the basis for the decisions we make. Two people can be presented with the same situation. One may respond with fear and the other may respond with courage. Sometimes the one responding with fear may see elements of the situation that makes it so much more of a challenge or even an impossibility. The only logical response must be one of retreat or suspicion or fear.

There are times that our intellectual prowess and ability to think through things and weigh them in every way possible becomes an impediment to exercising courage. Those who exercise courage tend to do so in the face of uncertainty. Those who exercise fear tend to do so after considering the variables and being more certain of failure than success. This plays a factor in all major decisions we make about whether we go ahead with something or whether we retreat or withdraw from it.

Those who withdraw usually have good reasons to substantiate their fear. Those who exercise courage usually do so often  inspite of evidence of one sort or another to suggest that they shouldn’t. They take a step into the unknown often based on a conviction which they may be unable to fully explain. Does it mean they are being illogical? Have they lost their senses? Not necessarily.

We are confronted often with the need to make decisions about relationships, carreers and jobs, changes in our lives, entrepreneurial ventures  and other matters.  We can base all our decisions on logic but once so often we base it o something beyond logic. on a conviction that we canot shake. I see that this also applies when it comes to making a decision about whether to believe the good news of the gospel, whether to make a decision for Christ or to reject him. I find that many reject him out of fear. Fear for what he stands for, fear about the almost overly simplistic nature of the salvation he offers, fear about what it implies for their own life, fear from what they have observed happening to others who accept him and many other fears that the human mind can come up with. Many will not call it fear. When it is all stripped down however, it boils down to fear. Fear of what others will think about us. Fear of the changes we will have to make in our lives. Fear of the loss of previous privileges and relationships.

I imagine an invisible line. Let’s call it the start line that all human beings stand on. Following our birth irrespective of our background, as we live our lives, there comes a day when we each are confronted in one form or another with the opportunity to make a decision either to give our live over to God‘s control or not to do so. Irrespective of whatever form it might take, whether, through sickness, through a miracle we have observed, through devastation in someone else’s life or our own, through hearing the word of God being preached, there will be a time, a day in each person’s life when we each have to make a conscious choice with regards to the issue of belief or faith. The decision you make is based on whether you exercise courage or fear. Courage will make you run into God’s arms but fear will make you run in the opposite direction. Afterall there is so much unknown and ununderstood about the whole notion or concept of the existence of God. There are many reasons we can find to excuse ourselves.

‘But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him’. (Hebrews 11:6 KJV).

It takes grace to believe. But to speak in a layman’s language, it takes great courage to exercise faith. The evidence we have about God is around for everyone to see inspite of arguments to the contrary. We each in our lives and particular circumstances will have enough evidence if we so choose to  see that God does exist. We may not like what we see of him or the things we see around us but we will each have the evidence to gain the conviction that God does exist. What we do with that is however entirely in our hands.

‘For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse: Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools’, (Romans 1:20-22 KJV).

We are all presented with the same view. The ‘wise’ are unimpressed with the evidence and choose to reject him. Those who choose to exercise courage and allow themselves to be drawn to him by the evidence before them, he rewards with his grace for salvation and the promise of eternal life. Friends, the difference between a believer and an unbeliever (atheist etc) is simply the distance between FEAR and COURAGE. This is why we have different responses when it comes to God.

The evidence that Jesus is Lord is so clear that in my view, it takes more faith not to believe than it takes to believe. To look at everything around you, all the events of our days, to look at creation and all the miracles around us and to refuse or reject the Lord, that must take a lot of faith in the validity of your own reasoning power and your FEAR.

I hope that you will take a second look and exercise COURAGE instead. You will find that you made the right choice. See Jesus‘s own words below, possibly the most chillingly conclusive words I have ever read. Instead of fear and the thought of retreat, these words propel should propel you forward. They should give you the courage to run into his arms and to acknowledge that he is Lord.

“And he said unto them, Ye are from beneath; I am from above: ye are of this world; I am not of this world. I said therefore unto you, that ye shall die in your sins: for if ye believe not that I am he, ye shall die in your sins”. (John 8:23, 24 KJV).

Enough Said !

Is it possible to be a happily married woman and be successful outside the home too?

This is a million dollar question on the mind of many women.

Can a girl really expect to have it all ? Can she be a success both in her home and outside her home in a way which isn’t just superficial but real?

Can she effectively be a good wife, mother, homemaker and be a CEO of a company, run her own business, be in public ministry or office, just plain be out there making a comparatively equal contribution as the best of them ?

Granted, not all women want this, but many actually do even if they never voice it out.

It often seems that most women have to choose to be very effective on one end and mediocre on the other. If they don’t, over time, they loose their marriages, or have to give up on careers or public lives.

Women need to know the truth.  Be given realistic views of how things really are. What works and what doesn’t.  Stories of successes and failures. If you know of any women (could be you),  who are effectively doing both good solid marriages and good solid public lives, please share their stories here, in the comments box or privately send it in an email to selasiebulmuo.yahoo.com.

Let’s gather the stories and come up with a realistic picture. If you made the choice to not marry or got divorced (for reasons related to success outside the home), lets hear from you too. Real women, real talk.

I aim to compile the findings for inclusion in a publication so please share your views, don’t hold back.  You would be helping other women with your story. Thanks.

You can use the following suggested guideline:

  • What is your (their) profile and philosophy? ( Christian or Non Christian)
  • How long have you (they) been married?
  • What is your (their) family composition?
  • Do you (they) work  outside the home? Why?
  • How do you (they) manage both?
  • Do you (they) work outside the home with their spouse ? (Women in Ministry alongside their spouses, Family Run Businesses etc)
  • Is the arrangement working for all involved?
  • Share your favourite quote

Short responses that do not conform to the suggested guidelines are also welcome.

Do It Yourself Generation

Psalm 147:11 The lord takes pleasure in those that fear him. In those that hope in his mercy.

In this modern day and age it is important to be seen as competent, efficient and striving to be the best at whatever you do. If you can’t compete you are out. It is a survival of the fittest. Most people climb over others, break promises, break ethics, speak lies and believe in aggrandising and promoting themselves just to ‘make it’.

Leveraging is a now word. Branding is another. The days when you come just as you are, those days are no more. For anyone to associate with you they need to know explicitly or implicitly what you have to offer them. People consider themselves ‘self made’ and there is very little room for a genuine acknowledgement of God as the orchestrator of their ‘success’.

As important as it is to move with the times, never sacrifice what you can be in God for what you can be through your own efforts mainly. This is important when it comes to choosing your vocation, your career, your friends, associates and all other choices you make . It is even important in the way you portray yourself and how you ‘sell’ yourself. God can see the bigger picture of your life much better than you ever can. Don’t just go by what you are good at or what you can do all by yourself. Beyond manual, intellectual and economic power is supernatural power which comes from God. He gives you that power that can take the most menial, disrespected, inconvenient, uncomfortable, lonely thing, be it a job, a person, a calling  and any other endeavour. He can make it into something beautiful.

You may not always know where he is leading when he starts to lead. You may not be able to leverage or take advantage of circumstances like others can. You may not even be able to brand yourself by what you are good at but if you reverence God and allow him to lead and control events, you will become a ‘God Made Person’ which is far superior and longer lasting than becoming a ‘Self Made Person’ and when God takes pleasure in you even the sky ceases to be the limit.

Instead of striving to do it yourself, put God in charge and hope in his Mercy. He will take pleasure ( be interested, be supportive, be instrumental ) in all that concerns you. If God be for you, who can be against you.

What We Are All About

FREEDOM CAN BE YOURS

We bring it to YOU

The Word of God understood is like a sudden beaming light in a once darkened room. It sets the entangled web of the human mind free. Free to be all you were made to be.

The engrafted word of God has the ability to infuse, impact, and rest on the inside of you, changing you, connecting you to the divine, until what it says becomes manifested in your thinking, your habits, your productivity, until you become like HIM.

This blog will bring you articles, expositions, the opportunity to ask questions and receive answers,  share testimonies and read real life inspirational stories of what God can do through his word as embodied in the Person of his Son Jesus Christ, the one sent to save the world. That includes you. He  speaks Love, soundness and freedom to you. He says ‘the words that I speak, they are Spirit and they are Life’.

Therefore ‘Neither Do I Condemn You, go and sin no more’.