Is it possible to be a happily married woman and be successful outside the home too?

This is a million dollar question on the mind of many women.

Can a girl really expect to have it all ? Can she be a success both in her home and outside her home in a way which isn’t just superficial but real?

Can she effectively be a good wife, mother, homemaker and be a CEO of a company, run her own business, be in public ministry or office, just plain be out there making a comparatively equal contribution as the best of them ?

Granted, not all women want this, but many actually do even if they never voice it out.

It often seems that most women have to choose to be very effective on one end and mediocre on the other. If they don’t, over time, they loose their marriages, or have to give up on careers or public lives.

Women need to know the truth.  Be given realistic views of how things really are. What works and what doesn’t.  Stories of successes and failures. If you know of any women (could be you),  who are effectively doing both good solid marriages and good solid public lives, please share their stories here, in the comments box or privately send it in an email to selasiebulmuo.yahoo.com.

Let’s gather the stories and come up with a realistic picture. If you made the choice to not marry or got divorced (for reasons related to success outside the home), lets hear from you too. Real women, real talk.

I aim to compile the findings for inclusion in a publication so please share your views, don’t hold back.  You would be helping other women with your story. Thanks.

You can use the following suggested guideline:

  • What is your (their) profile and philosophy? ( Christian or Non Christian)
  • How long have you (they) been married?
  • What is your (their) family composition?
  • Do you (they) work  outside the home? Why?
  • How do you (they) manage both?
  • Do you (they) work outside the home with their spouse ? (Women in Ministry alongside their spouses, Family Run Businesses etc)
  • Is the arrangement working for all involved?
  • Share your favourite quote

Short responses that do not conform to the suggested guidelines are also welcome.

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5 thoughts on “Is it possible to be a happily married woman and be successful outside the home too?

  1. Why do you imply that homemakers do not equally contribute? There isn’t a great leader who ever walked this planet who didn’t have a good mother. Also, why are the only two groups of women “Christian and Non-Christian”? Do you not think that there are other cultures and religions out there besides Christian that might have a similar take on marriage and the role of women?

    • I see the point about the contribution of homemakers. That is without doubt one of the most needed and priceless contributions any woman can make. The reality however is that not all women are satisfied with that alone. There are some who believe that they have other specific contributions they can make outside the home and actually try to extend themselves to do so. A lot of women struggle with this. Each woman is entitled to discover what truly satisfies them. This question in this post therefore diminishes no one. It rather seeks to unearth from people’s experiences what works for them.
      Also as this blog shares mainly Christian beliefs. So that contributors don’t feel limited by this, it is made clear that contributions can come from ‘Christians’ or ‘non – Christians’ meaning that everyone is welcome to contribute. I really do not see the problem with this as irrespective of cultures or orientations or ethnicity, if you are not a Christian, you are non Christian.

      • It takes 18 years to raise a child, give or take. That leaves a lot of time for all the rest after that. I never had the pleasure of marrying and having a family. Now that I’m in my 50’s, it’s not likely I’ll get the chance. There is a time and place for everything, and my time to raise a family is probably gone. I understand, more than most, thate not everyone is going to be blessed with a family. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out. Many are going to go it alone. But, I think most people, when they are older, realize how precious a family is, and how wonderful it is to raise one. I may go on and do great things, but I have nothing to offer the world after I’m gone. Children are an investment in the future of this world like nothing else can be.

        Of course, there are many children of all ages who need mentors. Even the childless can help children and other adults who need guidance. This is also a legacy. Being selfless shouldn’t end in the home, but it should start there.

        As I didn’t realize it was a Christian blog, I now understand what you said about Non-Christian input. Since I’m not a woman, and you seek female input, I’ll shut up now. 🙂

  2. As can be seen from the question and as many women will tell you, having a happy home, being happily married if they are so inclined is a priority for them. All other endeavours are built on or around this, so being succesful outside the home for majority of women is not an either or question, it is rather a quest to do both well with the first being the priority. One thing which some men seem to ignore is that, the home is not primarily just about the children and raising them well. Before the children arrived, there was the marriage and hopefully the marriage will still be there when the children are over 18 and have left home. Making a home therefore requires that the two adults, the woman and man will identify and work on what they trully find mutually important and satisfying beyond the children. Infact, not all married people have children whether by choice or otherwise. This does not invalidate their value as human beings with other skills and needs (beyond traditional roles) which often can lie outside the home and can be beneficial to the society. It does not invalidate their marriage or home. There are women who have families and are not married either and they still raise good solid children and may additionally hold down a job at which they are very good at. I have visited your blog and I get that your view which is view held by some men as well and possibly some women is that all a woman is really good for is to confine her skills to raisng children and that within the fourwalls of a home and nothing else. That is a very skewed view of women and their value and capacity. If a woman is good enough to be a great homemaker, surely she must possess or can acquire a set of skills to make her successful outside the home if that is what she wants and can handle. Infact, there are women who are incredibly good at what they do and its not just about the money or the power or competition with men. There are others who will admit to not being able to handlle more than their great connrtibutions at home. There are women who do not work outside the home and will still admit to struggling with doing great with the homefront and require help. There are equally women who have honed the art of being solid homemakers and have the capacity to extend their reach to outside the home. One coat doesnot fit all. This blog wants to hear from all women about their stories, what works for them and what does not. I have noted your contribution and your thoughts on the matter. I do hope we get some feedback from other men as well and who knows, they might hold a different view. The more information we gather, the better. Thank you very much for your input and please share along the suggested guidelines if you have an example of real life woman who this hasn’t worked for. That will be valuable information indeed.

  3. Pingback: The Self-Imposed Glass Ceiling | An Imperfect Girl's Quest for Perfection

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