(See previous posts for the Introduction and Part 1 of the series)
An Excerpt from my upcoming book,
Married, Successful & Embracing Life: A Godly Woman’s place in a changing world.
The first time we hear the woman speak in the bible was with the serpent. Her knowledge was tested and Adam was no where around and she failed on a minor point. The word ‘but’ was her downfall. Something went wrong with her communication systems. She was using speech to organise her thoughts when her thoughts should have been organised prior. She got God’s rules messed up. When the devil said did ‘God say…..?’. She should have said, ‘My husband said…’. Then there would have been no confusion because she physically was not present when God gave this instruction. Every married woman, before she can say ‘God said’, must be clear on what her husband says, because he is responsible for what she says. If you don’t like what your husband said, take it up with God. Let him vindicate you. Don’t speak to other people not even the devil in an authoritative conclusive manner on a subject matter you are not fully versed in until you are clear on what the main person who will bear the consequences with you thinks on the matter. This was Eve’s mistake. The voices and opinions of third parties can cloud your intuition and your judgement and you will misrepresent the very God who made you and will drag others including your husband into your causes, making them subject to God’s judgement and the consequences of your action.
It is from this basis that Paul’s writings make sense.
‘Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression’. (1 Timothy 2:11-14 KJV).
It is important to notice that the scriptures say ‘the man’ not a man. To every woman, there is the man. A woman is not to be subject to every man simply because he is man and she is a woman.
The emphasis in the above scripture is on the word Learn. That is the operative all important word in that scriptural verse. A woman’s first assignment is to learn or discover and know who God made her to be in quietness of reflection, study and prayer. If she goes on to marry, it is her responsibility to choose well, a man she knows she can submit to. It is her responsibility to learn the boundaries and requirements of that relationship and how best she can fulfil them satisfactorily. In agreement with her husband she can then learn the rudiments of whatever trade, career, profession, calling, office outside her home that does not conflict with what her husband is willing to be jointly responsible and accountable with her to God for.
Every woman who God used had her husband or the head of her household mentioned, unless she was unmarried. Jesus had women followers, women disciples who were not in the forefront in due reverence to their marriages. Even where a woman is more learned than her husband they must together come to an agreement about her boundaries before she proceeds to do ‘her thing’ outside the home. This is a safeguard for her.
A woman who has not learnt well will communicate falsehood for which not only she herself is accountable but her husband too. God holds a man accountable for himself but he also holds a man accountable for his wife and his household. Any thing done by them which he is aware of will if necessary become his debt to pay.
Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established: (Proverbs 24:3 KJV)
As can be seen from scripture, Joshua, the man of God made choices that covered he and all members of his household.
‘And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord’. (Joshua 24:15 KJV)
The scriptures leaves no woman or girl uncovered.
Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day. But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth. And these things give in charge, that they may be blameless. But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. (1 Timothy 5:5-8 KJV)
Anything you speak out of your mouth, whether you are a woman or a man, you must be ready to stand by those words and their consequences too.
‘When thou shalt vow a vow unto the Lord thy God, thou shalt not slack to pay it: for the Lord thy God will surely require it of thee; and it would be sin in thee. But if thou shalt forbear to vow, it shall be no sin in thee. That which is gone out of thy lips thou shalt keep and perform; even a freewill offering, according as thou hast vowed unto the Lord thy God, which thou hast promised with thy mouth’. (Deuteronomy 23:21-23 KJV)
God’s insurance policy is such that, if you are unmarried as a woman, you are covered by your father or the father figure to whom you submit. He is held responsible for all your mistakes. If you are married then it is your husband. What they disallow within the remit of their responsibility and you continue to do, you must pay for yourself.
‘If a man vow a vow unto the Lord, or swear an oath to bind his soul with a bond; he shall not break his word, he shall do according to all that proceedeth out of his mouth. If a woman also vow a vow unto the Lord, and bind herself by a bond, being in her father’s house in her youth; And her father hear her vow, and her bond wherewith she hath bound her soul, and her father shall hold his peace at her: then all her vows shall stand, and every bond wherewith she hath bound her soul shall stand. But if her father disallow her in the day that he heareth; not any of her vows, or of her bonds wherewith she hath bound her soul, shall stand: and the Lord shall forgive her, because her father disallowed her. And if she had at all an husband, when she vowed, or uttered ought out of her lips, wherewith she bound her soul; And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her in the day that he heard it: then her vows shall stand, and her bonds wherewith she bound her soul shall stand. But if her husband disallowed her on the day that he heard it; then he shall make her vow which she vowed, and that which she uttered with her lips, wherewith she bound her soul, of none effect: and the Lord shall forgive her. But every vow of a widow, and of her that is divorced, wherewith they have bound their souls, shall stand against her. And if she vowed in her husband’s house, or bound her soul by a bond with an oath; And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her, and disallowed her not: then all her vows shall stand, and every bond wherewith she bound her soul shall stand. But if her husband hath utterly made them void on the day he heard them; then whatsoever proceeded out of her lips concerning her vows, or concerning the bond of her soul, shall not stand: her husband hath made them void; and the Lord shall forgive her. Every vow, and every binding oath to afflict the soul, her husband may establish it, or her husband may make it void. But if her husband altogether hold his peace at her from day to day; then he establisheth all her vows, or all her bonds, which are upon her: he confirmeth them, because he held his peace at her in the day that he heard them. But if he shall any ways make them void after that he hath heard them; then he shall bear her iniquity. These are the statutes, which the Lord commanded Moses, between a man and his wife, between the father and his daughter, being yet in her youth in her father’s house’. (Numbers 30:2-16 KJV)
Some see the above scripture as archaic, part of the Old Testament laws that should be discarded, thinking it allows the handling of a woman as a property, or a possession and not an equal. On the contrary, instead of objectifying women, I rather see it as placing value on them beyond normal human equality. It indemnifies them. It allows them to wait until they are fully ready, to bear the responsibility for their actions before the consequences are imputed to them.