Should a Woman be in Public Ministry? ( A 3-Part Series) – Part 3

(Concluding the series. See previous posts for the Introduction and Parts 1 & 2 of the series)

Should a Woman be in Public Ministry? ( A 3-Part Series)

An Excerpt from my upcoming book,

Married, Successful & Embracing Life: A Godly Woman’s  place in a changing world.

Part 3

Why would God throughout the scriptures secure a woman’s position so much? It must be because of what women carry, what is embedded in them and the weaknesses of the structure carrying this treasure which only the Maker himself knows.  It is a purposeful weakness designed by God to invoke care, responsibility and affection in the man, and a willingness in the woman to submit to the man. It demands that she be in agreement with the man who is  to be held responsible for the disbursement of the treasures God has loaded up in her. A woman is her family’s spiritual vault. She holds and carries the future’s promise. That future cannot be indebted to anyone or mortgaged haphazardly. It must be protected. In fact, God told Eve that her seed shall bruise the serpent’s head. Powerful! But that discussion is for another day.

These arrangements do not make women, second class citizens. On the contrary, it makes them the best place for treasure to be hidden. A safe bank that does not run dry and will carry it’s household through dire situations to the very end. The very term ‘help meet’ is a term used in scripture to describe God himself, to describe the function of his Holy Spirit. I always say a woman is like an ambulance, while God is the Hospital. She is a mini – equipped facility capable of sustaining life. In scripture, God always calls for women when the situation is very bad and emergency measures have to be instituted. We are in such a time today. God is calling for his women. We better be well prepared to step out properly or the consequences will be dire, both on ourselves, on our marriages and families, communities and the world at large if we are thoughtless in our approach. We better get well organised.

So the bible makes no qualms about the exact nature of the woman. It  tells husbands;

‘Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered’. (1 Peter 3:7 KJV).

Why will God ask that something inferior be honoured? He won’t.  He doesn’t. A woman is not inferior to the man. She and he are heirs together of God’s promises. She simply houses their joint treasure in the weakness of her vessel. The treasure must be honoured and the vessel must be protected. With your husband in your corner with you, woman, the sky is the limit. Can two walk together except they be agreed? That is a question the bible asks.

It also tells us this; Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. (Matthew 18:19 KJV).

What a powerful promise. This is God’s way of ensuring that the assignment will truly be executed at the time when ‘God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth’. (Genesis 1:28 KJV)

Divorce therefore is not a light matter as far as God is concerned. The casting away of a woman leaves her vulnerable, uncovered in the cold. God hates divorce. He sees it as ‘dealing treacherously with the wife of your youth’. That is why, a woman never leaves to find the man to marry. She is protected at all times. The man has the responsibility to leave, his mother and his father and to go find his wife and not live with her as two people but cover her, give her an identity and confirm her manifestation and calling.

A woman comes loaded with favour which she brings to the man that marries her. ‘Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the  Lord’. (Proverbs 18:22 KJV). If your husband cannot confirm your calling, it is not ready to be manifested or else you will destroy your marriage as well as yourself. Leave it to God to sort it out. Don’t bulldoze your way through. If he confirms it, then the responsibility is on him to keep you covered. If you go out of your way on your own, you step outside God’s insurance policy.

Do you know that Adam named his wife twice? First he called her ‘Woman’ – bone of my bones, cornerstone of my bones, best bone of my bones. Flesh of my flesh because she was taken out of man. This was her identity based on what happened in the past before he met her. This was what he was searching for in a wife. This is the part of her he had no hand in moulding. Woman, you are and were somebody before you met your husband. You are uniquely, independently, who God made you, with skills, abilities, opinions, visions, and the like. These must be recognised and identified by the one who is to marry you.  You don’t loose it just because you married them. They are parts of you that still require confirmation and expression even in your marriage. A good man will name it  just as it is. After all, it is what attracted him to you in the first place.

Secondly, Adam named her ‘Eve’ because she will be the ‘mother of all living’. – according to her future prophetic destiny. How did he know? He took it straight out of the mandate God pronounced upon them in the day he made them, while Eve’s core structure was still embedded in Adam. As for God he gave them one name ‘Adam’, a symbol of their unity and oneness. The division of task was up to them. He never said, this is what a woman is to do and this is what a man is to do. That kind of thinking defeats progress. Tasks must be divided according to ability and function. As for God, He gave them the same blessing with regards to fruitfulness, dominance and replenishing the earth. Adam could not do it without Eve and she will be unable to do it without him. A woman’s future explosion is joint to her husband, irrespective of how personally endowed and gifted she is. The ribs holds the sensitive parts of the upper body in place. Mechanically, God gave the two beings that make up Adam part of the one same rib cage. It is in being one that their upper, better life is held up together and stays in place. It is up to them to learn how to execute this mandate both within the union and in the world at large.

So Paul wisely admonishes that he does not permit a woman to teach until she has learnt well. At the time of his statement, girls and women culturally did not have the benefit of education, careers and the like in the same capacity as boys and men did. The ones able to teach the gospel without mistakes were the men who themselves had to be taught by other men. So the order was set that church leadership, formally had to be the domain of men. We have verses like ‘a Bishop should be the husband of one wife’ which some automatically use to eliminate any chances of a woman ever being a Bishop even in these modern times. For a woman to learn in Paul’s days, she had to be taught most likely by her husband. For a woman to teach, which was nigh impossible, she had to have learnt well. Not only the subject matter of the gospel but also all that pertains to her place as a woman, a godly woman. The bible has records of men who took it upon themselves to teach without first learning and Paul was careful to warn against them.

‘For I know this, that after my departing shall grievous wolves enter in among you, not sparing the flock. Also of your own selves shall men arise, speaking perverse things, to draw away disciples after them. Therefore watch, and remember, that by the space of three years I ceased not to warn every one night and day with tears. (Acts 20:29-31 KJV).

He also made sure that those he taught were also faithful to teach others to lead.

And the things that thou hast heard of me among many witnesses, the same commit thou to faithful men, who shall be able to teach others also. (2 Timothy 2:2 KJV). 

Unfortunately because of the prevailing culture, the focus was always on teaching men.

There were women that cracked it though. There were women in ministry alongside Paul. He plainly talked about them in scripture. Paul was not forbidding women from ever preaching the gospel or teaching others, both men and women in public. The bible bears record of Priscilla and Aquila, a couple who taught and preached the Gospel and had a church at their home. It mentions the woman first and clearly attributes the ‘teaching’ jointly to her.

Paul wrote, ‘Greet Priscilla and Aquila my helpers in Christ Jesus: Likewise greet the church that is in their house. Salute my well beloved Epaenetus, who is the firstfruits of Achaia unto Christ’. (Romans 16:3, 5 KJV).

The bible clearly records this couple re- teaching a man how to preach the gospel. ‘And a certain Jew named Apollos, born at Alexandria, an eloquent man, and mighty in the scriptures, came to Ephesus. This man was instructed in the way of the Lord; and being fervent in the spirit, he spake and taught diligently the things of the Lord, knowing only the baptism of John. And he began to speak boldly in the synagogue: whom when Aquila and Priscilla had heard, they took him unto them, and expounded unto him the way of God more perfectly’. (Acts 18:24-26 KJV). These two, according to the bible even travelled with Paul.

In fact, there were some of the women preaching alongside Paul who manifested ‘women problems’ as if to proof his point.  ‘I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord.  Yes, and I ask you, my true companion, help these women since they have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my co-workers, whose names are in the book of life’. (Philippians 4:2, 3 NIV)

It was and still is that the sanctity of the gospel has to be upheld, that the structure of marriage be preserved and that a woman be honoured and protected as per the design of God. Since the operative word is ‘learn’, I can confidently say that I am yet to see a student who stays in school forever.  Every student must graduate at some point or be reckoned as having failed their evaluations and therefore unable to practice what they have been training for. In these modern times, education is equally available to Women in most cultures. A woman who has learnt well and is recognised not only as gifted but called of God, must be validated both by her husband and by those in authority over her and must be allowed and supported to practice and teach what she has learnt. She must be free to lead and have a dominant sphere of Influence to the glory of the wise God who made her and in his wisdom decided to load her with her giftings, talents and abilities.

The conclusion of Proverbs 31, a passage about the virtuous woman, a woman who exhibits her prowess not only at home but outside the home with the full support of her husband could not be more apt when it says the following; ‘Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the  Lord , she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates. (Proverbs 31:28-31 KJV).

Her own works means just that ‘her own works’. It is the works that praise her, not her pushy, disrespectful, bulldozing ways, neither is it a made up camouflage of other people’s work. Her works are also not limited to her home. They are known at the ‘gates’, the places of power, of authority, of influence and decision making. She is not excluded from the marketplaces of the world.

There are great women that had public ministries both in the old Testament and in the new. They preached, they taught, and some even killed enemy kings right in the comfort of their homes. Women worked along side Jesus Christ himself. He did not undermine them. He respected their marriages.  He saw them as women of substance for ‘they ministered to him out of their substance, even Mary, out of whom seven devils had to be cast out.

And it came to pass afterward, that he went throughout every city and village, preaching and shewing the glad tidings of the kingdom of God: and the twelve were with him, And certain women, which had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities, Mary called Magdalene, out of whom went seven devils, And Joanna the wife of Chuza Herod’s steward, and Susanna, and many others, which ministered unto him of their substance. (Luke 8:1-3 KJV)

These women and more, followed him publicly right to his death. They did not leave his side. They carried the message of the resurrection. How proud God must be of his daughters.

And there followed him a great company of people, and of women, which also bewailed and lamented him. But Jesus turning unto them said, Daughters of Jerusalem, weep not for me, but weep for yourselves, and for your children. For, behold, the days are coming, in the which they shall say, Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bare, and the paps which never gave suck. Then shall they begin to say to the mountains, Fall on us; and to the hills, Cover us. For if they do these things in a green tree, what shall be done in the dry? (Luke 23:27-31 KJV).

The bible tells us this: ‘The Lord announces the word, and the women who proclaim it are a mighty throng:    Kings and armies flee in haste; the women at home divide the plunder.    Even while you sleep among the sheep pens, the wings of my dove are sheathed with silver, its feathers with shining gold. (Psalm 68:11-13 NIV)

It is important that women are allowed and supported to take their place publicly or else the church will continue to limp with its side remaining unhealed. Women who seek public ministry, must do the work of submission, of learning in silence, and cutting off all the excesses, the flagrant displays of wantoness and disrespect of holy order that is so common nowadays. There is a call back to the threshing floor.

‘And thou, O tower of the flock, the strong hold of the daughter of Zion, unto thee shall it come, even the first dominion; the kingdom shall come to the daughter of Jerusalem. Arise and thresh, O daughter of Zion: for I will make thine horn iron, and I will make thy hoofs brass: and thou shalt beat in pieces many people: and I will consecrate their gain unto the Lord, and their substance unto the Lord of the whole earth’. (Micah 4:8, 13 KJV)

A woman’s place is where God has destined her to be. She must learn, develop and occupy her place until he comes back for his bride.

Should a Woman be in Public Ministry? ( A 3-Part Series) – Part 2

(See previous posts for the Introduction and Part 1 of the series)

An Excerpt from my upcoming book,

Married, Successful & Embracing Life: A Godly Woman’s  place in a changing world.

Part 2

The first time we hear the woman speak in the bible was with the serpent. Her knowledge was tested and Adam was no where around and she failed on a minor point. The word ‘but’ was her downfall. Something went wrong with her communication systems. She was using speech to organise her thoughts when her thoughts should have been organised prior. She got God’s rules messed up. When the devil said did ‘God say…..?’.  She should have said, ‘My husband said…’. Then there would have been no confusion because she physically was not present when God gave this instruction. Every married woman, before she can say ‘God said’,  must be clear on what her husband says, because he is responsible for what she says. If you don’t like what your husband said, take it up with God. Let him vindicate you. Don’t  speak to other people not even the devil in an authoritative conclusive manner on a subject matter you are not fully versed in until you are clear on what the main person who will bear the consequences with you thinks on the matter. This was Eve’s mistake.  The voices and opinions of third parties can cloud your intuition and your judgement and you will misrepresent the very God who made you and will drag others including your husband into your causes, making them subject to God’s judgement and the consequences of your action.

It is from this basis that Paul’s writings make sense.

‘Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression’. (1 Timothy 2:11-14 KJV).

It is important to notice that the scriptures say ‘the man’ not a man. To every woman, there is the man. A woman is not to be subject to every man simply because he is man and she is a woman.

The emphasis in the above scripture is on the word Learn.  That is the operative all important word in that scriptural verse. A woman’s first assignment is to learn or discover and know who God made her to be in quietness of reflection, study and prayer. If she goes on to marry, it is her responsibility to choose well, a man she knows she can submit to. It is her responsibility to learn the boundaries and requirements of that relationship and how best she can fulfil them satisfactorily. In agreement with her husband she can then learn the rudiments of whatever trade, career, profession, calling, office outside her home that does not conflict with what her husband is willing to be jointly responsible and accountable with her to God for.

Every woman who God used had her husband or the head of her household mentioned, unless she was unmarried.  Jesus had women followers, women disciples who were not in the forefront in due reverence to their marriages. Even where a woman is more learned than her husband they must together come to an agreement about her boundaries before she proceeds to do ‘her thing’ outside the home. This is a safeguard for her.

A woman who has not learnt well will communicate falsehood for which not only she herself is accountable but her husband too. God holds a man accountable for himself but he also holds a man accountable for his wife and his household. Any thing done by them which he is aware of will if necessary become his debt to pay.

Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established: (Proverbs 24:3 KJV)

As can be seen from scripture, Joshua, the man of God made choices that covered he and  all members of his household.

‘And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord’. (Joshua 24:15 KJV)

The scriptures leaves no woman or girl uncovered.

Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day. But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth. And these things give in charge, that they may be blameless. But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. (1 Timothy 5:5-8 KJV)

Anything you speak out of your mouth, whether you are a woman or a man, you must be ready to stand by those words and their consequences too.

‘When thou shalt vow a vow unto the Lord thy God, thou shalt not slack to pay it: for the Lord thy God will surely require it of thee; and it would be sin in thee. But if thou shalt forbear to vow, it shall be no sin in thee. That which is gone out of thy lips thou shalt keep and perform; even a freewill offering, according as thou hast vowed unto the Lord thy God, which thou hast promised with thy mouth’. (Deuteronomy 23:21-23 KJV)

God’s insurance policy is such that, if you are unmarried as a woman, you are covered by your father or the father figure to whom you submit. He is held responsible for all your mistakes. If you are married then it is your husband. What they disallow within the remit of their responsibility and you continue to do, you must pay for yourself.

If a man vow a vow unto the Lord, or swear an oath to bind his soul with a bond; he shall not break his word, he shall do according to all that proceedeth out of his mouth. If a woman also vow a vow unto the Lord, and bind herself by a bond, being in her father’s house in her youth; And her father hear her vow, and her bond wherewith she hath bound her soul, and her father shall hold his peace at her: then all her vows shall stand, and every bond wherewith she hath bound her soul shall stand. But if her father disallow her in the day that he heareth; not any of her vows, or of her bonds wherewith she hath bound her soul, shall stand: and the Lord shall forgive her, because her father disallowed her. And if she had at all an husband, when she vowed, or uttered ought out of her lips, wherewith she bound her soul; And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her in the day that he heard it: then her vows shall stand, and her bonds wherewith she bound her soul shall stand. But if her husband disallowed her on the day that he heard it; then he shall make her vow which she vowed, and that which she uttered with her lips, wherewith she bound her soul, of none effect: and the Lord shall forgive her. But every vow of a widow, and of her that is divorced, wherewith they have bound their souls, shall stand against her. And if she vowed in her husband’s house, or bound her soul by a bond with an oath; And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her, and disallowed her not: then all her vows shall stand, and every bond wherewith she bound her soul shall stand. But if her husband hath utterly made them void on the day he heard them; then whatsoever proceeded out of her lips concerning her vows, or concerning the bond of her soul, shall not stand: her husband hath made them void; and the Lord shall forgive her. Every vow, and every binding oath to afflict the soul, her husband may establish it, or her husband may make it void. But if her husband altogether hold his peace at her from day to day; then he establisheth all her vows, or all her bonds, which are upon her: he confirmeth them, because he held his peace at her in the day that he heard them. But if he shall any ways make them void after that he hath heard them; then he shall bear her iniquity. These are the statutes, which the Lord commanded Moses, between a man and his wife, between the father and his daughter, being yet in her youth in her father’s house’. (Numbers 30:2-16 KJV)

Some see the above scripture as archaic, part of the Old Testament laws that should be discarded, thinking it allows the handling of a woman as a property, or a possession and not an equal. On the contrary, instead of objectifying women, I rather see it as placing value on them beyond normal human equality. It indemnifies them. It allows them to wait until they are fully ready, to bear the responsibility for their actions before the consequences are imputed to them.

Should a Woman be in Public Ministry? ( A 3-Part Series) – Part 1

 

(See the introduction in the Previous Post)

An Excerpt from my upcoming book,

Married, Successful & Embracing Life: A Godly Woman’s  place in a changing world.

Part 1

The issue of a woman’s creation. Have you ever thought about the fact that the bible has no recorded information of a discussion between God and the woman from the moment she was created to the moment she was presented to the man as his wife?  Even when Adam said ‘this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh, she shall be called woman’, she still did not make a speech. It is highly improbable that she was made mute. It is rather most likely that God did have a conversation with her prior to taking her to the man. If this happened it must not have been recorded for our benefit, for a good reason.

There is something about the silence surrounding the making and unveiling of the woman that speaks louder than words.  Adam had to be put to sleep during the process of her making. The very structure of her make up was developed in silence, in secret, prior to her unveiling to the man.

A God prepared kind of woman is a very spiritual, intuitive, silently moulded, knowingly wise creature. Most of a woman’s communications are internal, feelings oriented and spiritual. Until a woman organises her internal processes, until she gets that right and unconfused, when she starts to speak, it is almost always a nigh disaster.  She will use speech as an organising process instead of a communicative one. To repeat, I do not for one second believe that God did not communicate or speak to the woman after he made her. I do not believe she was made mute. I believe she must have been told about herself, her purpose and her mission in the quiet place of the spirit. She had an organised, upright internal system which was not confused otherwise, there will have been no way she would have remained quiet even after Adam spoke. She would have had some questions or at least some responses. Most women with unresolved questions and feelings will find it next to impossible to make no responses to a ‘deep’ declaration like the one Adam made.

The manifestation of the woman’s purpose was linked to the man whose wife God made her to be. It is in and through that relationship therefore that the initiation and outdooring of all of that she is will begin. It is in speaking however, that Adam begins the process of Eve’s manifestation. He introduces her. It is in speaking also that Adam takes responsibility for not only identifying the awesomeness and full hidden potential of the woman God had given him but also takes responsibility for every mistake she will ever make. Eve had no need to speak. It is in her silence that she gives her assent to his leadership. I can sense some feminine protestations now. Don’t think for a minute that this was wholly a limitation on Eve, it was in fact an insurance for her protection.

Speech requires responsibility. Words are spirit and life. What we say we must take responsibility for. God spoke the world into being. The responsibility of the performance of his word was with him. In fact, God said in his word, ‘the words that I speak will not return to me void’. In other words, words are unseen servants, they are sent to accomplish tasks, for which the one sending them is ultimately responsible.  Remember Adam’s prior mandate…‘whatever he called it so became its name’.  He had to name all the animals and created things. By so doing he took responsibility for their maintenance and upkeep.

Eve in a sense was no stranger to Adam. The molecular structure for her being was taken out from him presupposing that she was part of him at the time that God made him and sealed his instruction and his blessing. In fact the bible tells us that ‘Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created’. (Genesis 5:2 KJV). 

The responsibility for a woman is not like any other. Someone will ask, why should someone even have responsibility for the woman? Isn’t she capable of taking responsibility for herself? God is not the author of confusion. Responsibility is a function of assignment or task. Where there is a task to be accomplished, someone must be held ultimately accountable. Everything God made has a purpose, a task attached to it. Apart from the responsibility of each to operate according to their design, there must be someone each is subject to and accountable to in relation to the task. There must be one clear servant leader.  This is why every single creature on earth became a partaker in ‘one man’s sin’. It is also why salvation has been set through one man, Jesus Christ. Ultimate responsibility in any relationship, group or organisation should be traceable to one person. In a marriage relationship God chose the man as this person simply because he was made first.

A woman’s quiet spirit is the medium through which she receives Godly revelation, wisdom and strength from God. God cannot speak to a chaotic woman. It is against his very design of her. A quiet spirit does not mean a quiet, mousy temperament. It simply means a woman in control of her inner self and having the ability to yield that inner self to God and to her husband so as to be impacted by them.

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands’.(1 Peter 3:1-5 KJV)

A woman is not property, nor is she similar to other animate or inanimate things that can be considered as property to be set aside at will. She is an independent, thinking, speaking, feeling, human made to be linked to man (to be his suited, tailored helper) for whom man had to take responsibility and be accountable to God for. Man had to be awakened from a deep sleep, to name her. He had to identify her, accept her, proclaim her substance and purpose in her hearing all in one speech.  ‘

And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man’. (Genesis 2:23 KJV).

Silence and deep spiritual work is not only limited to women. To qualify to speak to the woman and in the presence of God, Adam had to be put into silence, into a deep sleep, into the same dimension within which the woman was made. He then had to be awakened to recognise her, to enable him speak out her right identity. Remember, he was asleep, he couldn’t have known what was taken out of him except by a spiritual revelation. We have many men today, who are reluctant to  spend time in silent contemplation, in learning, prayer and humility to do the work on themselves needed in order to lead and be responsible for a woman. They are unaware at a deep level of what their wives are made of and cannot buy into the spirit to call forth her identity. They name her according to their need not according to the substance she is made of nor can they call her up to that substance if she falls short. They name her, housewife, mother of my children, lover, cook, helper, these are all good but they only speak to her function, not her substance and so we have many hardworking women who are depleted and weary because their core identity has never been identified. They have no rest, no security. They have no way of resourcing what they are sourcing out everyday because the lid is still firmly shut in the leader, the one responsible for them.

Worse, there are Adams that name their wives within the same dimensions with which they name the animals (or their properties) hence they treat their wives as such, like donkeys, horses, lionesses roaring in their houses who they have to tame at all cost. But if all men can see their wives as physical and spiritual extensions of themselves, made from the same material by the same maker, they will have a good starting point by calling them ‘bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh‘. In other words they will be saying, your bone- your main frame, is part of mine.  In fact, it is the main that hold my frame together. You are the main bone of my bones. Your body, your flesh is part of mine. I cover you. You are insured. You are safe. I protect you because without you, I am disabled and weak. So then the two truly become one which is God’s true intention.

A married woman therefore who has been called into her own by her husband cannot be exempted from expressing herself because there is no confusion about her identity. She is submitted to the authority of her husband and he takes responsibility for her. Once he has full confidence in her and she has learnt and recognised her place, she must be free to be all that God made her to be.

Is it possible to be a happily married woman and be successful outside the home too?

This is a million dollar question on the mind of many women.

Can a girl really expect to have it all ? Can she be a success both in her home and outside her home in a way which isn’t just superficial but real?

Can she effectively be a good wife, mother, homemaker and be a CEO of a company, run her own business, be in public ministry or office, just plain be out there making a comparatively equal contribution as the best of them ?

Granted, not all women want this, but many actually do even if they never voice it out.

It often seems that most women have to choose to be very effective on one end and mediocre on the other. If they don’t, over time, they loose their marriages, or have to give up on careers or public lives.

Women need to know the truth.  Be given realistic views of how things really are. What works and what doesn’t.  Stories of successes and failures. If you know of any women (could be you),  who are effectively doing both good solid marriages and good solid public lives, please share their stories here, in the comments box or privately send it in an email to selasiebulmuo.yahoo.com.

Let’s gather the stories and come up with a realistic picture. If you made the choice to not marry or got divorced (for reasons related to success outside the home), lets hear from you too. Real women, real talk.

I aim to compile the findings for inclusion in a publication so please share your views, don’t hold back.  You would be helping other women with your story. Thanks.

You can use the following suggested guideline:

  • What is your (their) profile and philosophy? ( Christian or Non Christian)
  • How long have you (they) been married?
  • What is your (their) family composition?
  • Do you (they) work  outside the home? Why?
  • How do you (they) manage both?
  • Do you (they) work outside the home with their spouse ? (Women in Ministry alongside their spouses, Family Run Businesses etc)
  • Is the arrangement working for all involved?
  • Share your favourite quote

Short responses that do not conform to the suggested guidelines are also welcome.